LIFE

The Case For Doing Things Just Because They Make You Happy

Not everything needs a better reason.

I put perfume on before I go running.

Sometimes before I go to sleep too.

There is absolutely no practical reason for this. No one is going to smell me halfway through my run. I am quite literally going to bed.

I just like that little wave of a nice smell.

And I think we need more things like that.

Things that don’t improve our CV, make us more productive, save us money or move us closer to some enormous life goal.

Things that are allowed to exist for the incredibly unconvincing reason of:

I like it.

Maybe Happiness Is Productive.

We have become slightly obsessed with making everything useful.

A walk needs to get our steps in. A hobby should become a side hustle. Reading should teach us something. Exercise needs a goal. A morning routine needs to make us more productive.

Even rest somehow needs to be optimized.

I don’t really believe in that anymore.

I run because I know how I feel afterwards.

I almost always dread going. Then I go anyway, come home sweaty and ridiculously pleased with myself, and remember why I keep doing it.

I dance constantly. I have a playlist literally called Dancing While Brushing My Teeth, because apparently standing still for two minutes was never really an option.

I cook.

I take photos.

I drink iced coffee outside.

I light candles. Always candles.

I organise dinners.

I travel.

I hug people.

None of those things are a waste of time to me.

Actually, I think they might be some of the most useful things I do.

The Only Time I Really Feel Like I’m Wasting Time.

Is usually when I’m on my phone.

Twenty minutes of drawing doesn’t feel wasted.

Neither does an hour spent cooking something that could have taken fifteen minutes.

Running doesn’t.

Doing a puzzle doesn’t.

Cleaning my room doesn’t.

Sitting outside with an iced coffee definitely doesn’t.

But somehow I can spend forty-five minutes scrolling through my phone, put it down and feel like absolutely nothing happened.

I wasn’t happier.

I didn’t make anything.

I didn’t speak to anyone.

I didn’t even properly relax.

And I think that’s an important distinction.

Maybe we shouldn’t measure wasted time by how productive it looks.

Maybe we should measure it by whether we actually wanted to spend it that way.

Make The Stupid Card.

I think my love language might be cards and slightly ugly homemade things.

Not beautiful, professionally printed stationery.

I mean paper, scissors, something slightly wonky and an idea that probably took significantly longer than buying something would have.

Before I moved to Sweden, I made my parents a cookbook.

There was no occasion. They hadn’t asked for one. It was quite literally printed on normal paper.

I just wanted to leave them some cooking inspiration.

Completely unnecessary.

I loved making it.

And I think that’s exactly the point.

Some of the nicest things we do for people are wildly inefficient.

Calling your grandparents.

Sending someone flowers because you saw them and thought of them.

Posting a card.

Baking a loaf of bread that would cost three euros at the supermarket.

Texting someone, I just thought of you.

Telling people you love them when you’re not saying goodbye and it’s not their birthday and nothing dramatic has happened.

There doesn’t need to be an occasion.

Spend The Money. Within Reason.

I will almost always choose experiences.

Living in Sweden has made me think about this more, because going out here can be expensive.

Sometimes I’ll look at the price of sitting on a terrace and think: do I really need to spend this much on a drink?

Technically, no.

But my housemate and I talked about it once and realised we were looking at it the wrong way.

You’re not only paying for the drink.

You’re paying for sitting there together. For the conversation. For the evening that accidentally becomes much later than expected. For meeting someone new. For having a story to tell afterwards.

That doesn’t mean every expensive dinner is suddenly a financially responsible decision because memories.

I like having goals. I like knowing what I’m working towards. I like saving for things I actually want.

Happiness, to me, isn’t spending everything I have.

It’s knowing what I can spend — and then allowing myself to actually spend some of it.

Money is useful because of what it allows you to do with your life.

And if you can afford it, I don’t think a beautiful memory is a waste of money.

You Don’t Have To Drink.

There is one choice I still find myself having to explain far more often than I should:

Not drinking.

Or not going out.

Which is funny, because I actually love going out.

I love dancing. I love parties. I love being around people.

I just don’t always want the alcohol that apparently has to come with it.

And I don’t always want to go.

Somewhere along the way, drinking became so normal that not drinking sometimes requires an explanation.

But “I don’t feel like it tonight” should really be enough.

Choosing what makes you happy also means recognising when something that is supposed to be fun isn’t fun for you that day.

You don’t have to turn yourself into someone who hates parties just because you want to stay home on Friday.

And you don’t have to drink to prove you’re having a good time.

Sometimes happiness is going out and dancing until 3 AM.

Sometimes happiness is lighting a candle and being in bed at 10.

You’re allowed to like both versions of yourself.

Do More Things That Nobody Will Ever Know About.

Buy yourself the flowers.

Wear perfume to bed.

Do your hair when you’re not going anywhere.

Bake the cake.

Call your grandparents.

Invite people over even though your house isn’t perfectly clean.

Send the card.

Text the person you randomly thought about.

Drink the iced coffee outside instead of taking it home.

Light the candles on a Tuesday.

Put music on while brushing your teeth.

Tell someone you love them.

Not because it’s their birthday.

Not because it’s good content.

Not because you’re trying to become a better person.

Not because anyone is watching.

Just because your life feels a tiny bit nicer when you do.

I Think I’m Getting Better At Knowing What Makes Me Happy.

When I was younger, I think I spent more time doing what was normal.

And considerably more time on my phone.

Now I know myself a little better.

I know that showing people I love them makes me happy.

Creating things makes me happy.

Dancing makes me happy.

So I try to do more of those things.

It sounds ridiculously obvious when you write it down.

Find out what makes you happy.
Do more of it.

But maybe that’s why it’s so easy to forget.

We keep waiting for happiness to arrive as the result of something bigger.

The job.

The relationship.

The trip.

The house.

The achievement.

And obviously, having goals matters. I love goals. Give me an idea and I will immediately start figuring out how to make it happen.

But a life can’t only consist of working towards the next thing.

There have to be things that make today nice too.

The perfume.

The homemade card.

The run you didn’t want to go on.

The candles.

The phone call.

The ridiculous amount of effort you put into dinner.

The song you danced to while brushing your teeth.

And I think that’s reason enough.

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MORE PERSONALITY, PLEASE.