LIFE

Maybe Your Twenties Aren’t Supposed To Make Sense Yet

Maybe we’re not behind. Maybe we’re just in the middle of it.

There is a version of adulthood I was very sure about when I was younger.

By 27, I would probably have a good job. A house. A relationship. Maybe my first child. I’m not entirely sure where I got the timeline from, but apparently I had things scheduled.

I’m 24 now.

I live in Sweden, I’m doing my master’s degree, I don’t own a house, I’m not in a relationship and, financially speaking, I am currently much better at spending money than making it.

And strangely enough, I’m happy.

Because instead of building the life I thought I was supposed to have by now, I’ve been living one I never could have planned.

I’ve moved countries. Travelled. Started over in places where I barely knew anyone. Changed my mind. Followed opportunities because they felt right rather than because they made perfect sense on paper.

And somehow, the decisions that looked the least logical have often become the ones I’m happiest I made.

We Were Given A Very Weird Timeline.

Social media has a funny way of making 24 feel late.

Spend enough time online and somewhere between the 23-year-old founder, the girl renovating her first apartment and someone announcing an engagement underneath a perfectly placed bunch of flowers, you start wondering whether you missed a meeting where everyone decided what they were doing with their lives.

You didn’t.

Real life moves considerably slower than your feed.

In the EU, women having their first child in 2024 were, on average, 29.9 years old. In Sweden, it was 30.2.

And although it’s an American statistic, here’s another useful reality check: the median first-time homebuyer in the US is now 40 years old.

Forty. Not 24.

We have somehow taken milestones that often happen over decades and compressed them into one impossible checklist for our twenties.

Graduate. Find the job. Make money. Travel, but not for too long. Find someone. Save money. Buy a house. Know whether you want children. Build a career. Maintain friendships. Exercise. Invest. Have hobbies. Be spontaneous.

Preferably while looking very relaxed about the whole thing.

No wonder everyone thinks they’re behind.

Maybe Spending Isn’t Always Falling Behind.

This is something I still have to remind myself of.

I’m doing my master’s right now, which means that at 24 I am still studying while other people my age are already a few years into their careers.

They’re earning salaries.

I’m still spending mine.

And yes, sometimes that makes me feel like I’m behind.

But then I look at what I’m actually spending these years on.

I moved to Sweden because I wanted to study here. Before that, I lived abroad. I’ve travelled to places I had wanted to see for years. I’ve met people I never would have met if I’d stayed in one place. I’m learning what kind of life I like by actually trying different versions of it.

I’m not really postponing my life until it starts.

Maybe I could have more money in my bank account right now.

But I would have fewer stories.

And at 24, I’m not sure that’s a trade I’d want to make.

I Don’t Want My Life To Make Too Much Sense Yet.

The older I get, the less interested I am in creating the most logical life possible.

I like moving.

I like travelling.

I like the feeling of arriving somewhere new and slowly learning where the good coffee is, which supermarket to go to and which street feels like home.

Most of my bigger decisions have been made with my gut rather than a five-year plan.

And they almost never disappoint me.

Maybe that’s because I believe, perhaps somewhat irrationally, that things have a way of ending up where they’re supposed to.

Not because everything happens magically.

But because one decision leads to another. A city introduces you to a person. A person introduces you to an idea. A job teaches you what you don’t want. A place you thought would be temporary changes what you thought you wanted altogether.

Looking backwards, life can seem strangely connected.

Looking forwards, it almost never does.

And maybe that’s okay.

Home Is Getting Less Geographical.

Moving around has taught me something I don’t think I understood when I was younger:

You can be at home in a lot of places.

For a long time, I think I imagined “home” as the final destination. The house. The city. The person. The place where eventually everything would settle down.

Now I think home has much more to do with being comfortable with yourself.

If you take yourself with you, you can build little versions of home almost anywhere.

A bedroom in a new country.

A café you start going to every Sunday.

Friends you didn’t know six months ago.

Your usual running route.

A kitchen that isn’t technically yours.

Maybe there doesn’t have to be one place that answers the question forever.

I Hope 30-Year-Old Me Has Changed Her Mind A Few More Times.

Maybe I’ll eventually want exactly the things I imagined when I was younger.

A house.

A partner.

Children.

A job I stay in for longer than a few years.

I probably will.

But I don’t want to rush towards those things simply because they would make my life look more complete from the outside.

There is something incredibly freeing about realizing that your twenties don’t need to be the decade where everything falls into place.

The cities.

The jobs.

The friendships.

The mistakes.

The flights you probably shouldn’t have booked.

The apartments that never quite felt permanent.

The people who stay and the people who don’t.

The versions of yourself you grow out of.

Maybe one day all of those pieces will make something that looks obvious in hindsight.

Right now, they don’t have to.

What I Would Tell My 20-Year-Old Self.

Enjoy it.

It will be okay.

Choose yourself more often.

Live a little less for what other people might think and a little more for what you actually want.

You don’t need to know where you’re going yet.

And please stop trying to work out whether you’re behind.

There is no race.

I used to think growing up meant slowly narrowing your life down.

One city. One house. One career. One person. One version of yourself.

Now I hope it means the opposite.

I want to see as much of the world as I can. I want to live in places that interest me. I want to change my mind when something doesn’t fit anymore. I want to choose things because I’m curious about them, even when they aren’t the most efficient route to somewhere else.

There will probably come a time when I want to stay somewhere.

But I don’t think I need to find that place at 24.

For now, I’d rather keep looking.

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Maybe your twenties aren’t supposed to make sense yet.

Maybe you’re supposed to live them first.

MORE PERSONALITY, PLEASE.